I've been back in Siem Reap for two days now. Vietnam was good in many ways. I've changed. People there have changed. Vietnam has changed. Just take a look at this article even: http://www.nytimes.com/2009/10/20/world/asia/20golf.html?_r=1&hp.
My parents are from a very small town in the province, so basically, everyone is a relative of mine in some way. I went back and forth between my paternal family and maternal family. For the first time, I understood the amount of love that my extended family has for me--just because we are blood. They definitely don't know exactly who I am, as I've only seen them about 5 times in my life, but it's very reassuring to know that you will always have people to turn to for any and every reason. Appreciating family is something that had to be learned, and I am immensely happy that I did.
I've never really spoken to my second uncle-in-law on my mom side, but for some reason, we bonded a lot last week. He told me to come over and help him cook for fun, as in he'd give me a cooking lesson. Honestly, I was not too excited, but since he's a pretty intimidating person, I excitedly said, "OK!"
During our cooking session, I learned a lot about why he's such a good public school teacher and why he's such a humble person. He also asked me if I'd extend my stay in Cambodia after June 2010. I told him no, because this type of work really depresses your psyche. For the first time, I think I expressed how this work has affected me in a direct one. It's depressing, but of course I still have optimism--optimism for a cultural shift.
I don't think I've ever realized how deeply the sex industry affects the psyche of a individual who works as commercial sex worker. It can be to the point where someone turns down an opportunity that pertains to their life goal, because of a conflict in morality. How can change happen then?
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I really like reading your blog posts, Kathy. They're so interesting, insightful, and inspiring. Overall, it just makes me miss you.
ReplyDeleteI wish I could learn the lesson you have. I went to a family reunion this summer, and I felt nothing even remotely related to the lesson you learned here. With either local and remote family, I seldom feel a sense of strong ties. It feels sometimes as though blood means nothing. I guess that has partly to do with the cultural history I inherit and also just dumb luck. Or maybe I just haven't met the right people in my family. Maybe I'm too stand-offish. Whatever the case, I'll try to remember not to lose heart. I can only hope you will do the same. Change will come, little by little. Whatever the extent of your contribution to that change, know that many people out there are grateful.